


For He's a Jolly Good Fellow

by ElZacharie



Series: The Witch's Toy [3]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Birthday, F/M, Humor and Fluff, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 02:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7872244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElZacharie/pseuds/ElZacharie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>York gets Carolina a gift for her birthday and Carolina misunderstands an important question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For He's a Jolly Good Fellow

**Author's Note:**

> i meant to announce the pregnancy in a silly way in chapter 10, but it ran away from me
> 
> this is kinda required reading just to know about it because the pregnancy is actually really really important to the story i have planned

Carolina didn't have many friends on the farm. She had acquaintances, certainly; she could name every single taur on the farm, and there were certainly a lot. She just didn't see the point in it. She was going to be in charge of them someday, and she wouldn't have time for social calls. It was lonely, sure, but she had Junior and her father. If she needed company, she could simply sit in on one of her father's meetings, or give Junior’s hair a proper grooming.

She was perfectly fine not having friends, and everyone knew that.

“Carolinaaaa! Time to wake up, birthday girl!”

Okay, maybe not everyone.

York pulled the sheets off Carolina, earning an annoyed yowling noise as she tried to hide from the sunlight. “Go away, York! I'm tired!”

No use. The felitaur handler was already rifling through her closet, looking for the perfect outfit for her to wear for the day. “You have a princess dress?” he gasped, pulling out a small, frilly pink outfit.

That certainly got her out of bed. Just as York turned around to show off the dress, Carolina pounced, tackling him to the ground. They locked eyes and the cheetah turned bright red. “It’s… it’s old. It won’t fit.”

The human smiled. “You sure? It looks like it’d fit you just perfectly. Like it was recently tailored…”

“ _ It’s old _ , York,” she growled. “Just drop it, okay?”

“Fine. But you’re gonna have to get off me; it’d be a shame to get it dirty.”

Right. Carolina crawled off of him, avoiding his gaze as he stood. “You know I don’t like birthdays. Why do you care so much?”

He shrugged. “Free presents, free cake, everyone is paying attention to you and having fun. What’s there not to like?”

“Plenty.”

“Quit being a drama queen, Ms. Grumpypants. You have literally no reason to hate birthdays; you’re just cynical.”

Well, he wasn’t totally wrong. She really had no tragic backstory reason to hate her birthday. It just reminded her of her mother. Allison loved birthdays.

* * *

“York bought you a present,” North said, weighing a new calf. “Went into to town to pick it up yesterday.”

Carolina scowled at the mooing calf, writing down the number that appeared on the scale. “Now’s not the time for gossip, North.”

Of course, he ignored her. “It’s pretty big, too. Wouldn’t show me what it was, but he definitely wanted to.”

“ _ North _ . Get the next calf and shut up.”

“Come on, Lina, aren’t you the least bit— whoa, hey, shh, it’s gonna be alright. We’re gonna get you back to your mom soon, lil’ guy. Aren’t you at least curious? He really went all out for you.”

“He’s your husband,” she muttered. “Why would he waste so much money on me?”

There was a sly look to North’s smile she didn’t quite like. “Maybe he appreciates you as a friend?”

“You are the shittiest liar, North, but I’m not in the mood to interrogate you right now.”

* * *

“Dad got you a cake,” was the first thing Church said when Carolina entered the kitchen. Both father and daughter groaned, although for two different reasons.

“Alpha, I told you to keep it a secret!” Leonard cried, hands dripping from cleaning the dishes.

Church shrugged and slurped his noodles. “Why do you care? Not like she’s gonna eat in the first place.”

“Shut up, Junior, I can speak for myself. Dad, I’m not going to eat the cake.”

The doctor scowled. “Must you really be so stubborn, Beta? It’s your special day, you deserve to have  _ something _ . Your mother—”

“Mom isn’t here anymore,” Carolina snapped, “so her opinion doesn’t matter. Go return the stupid cake.”

“Walked right into that one,” the digi muttered, yowling when his father flicked water at him. “Hey! It’s true! Stop that! Aren’t I your favourite?!”

Carolina stomped away as her father continued to splash him, her mood dropping to an all new low.

* * *

For the rest of the day, the birthday girl sulked in her bedroom, far from any well-wishers and gift givers. Her father had tried to coax her out for dinner and cake, but she’d ignored him, despite how much it pained her stomach to do so. It wasn’t until midnight she was disturbed again.

“It’s no longer your birthday,” York called from behind the door. “Can I come in and give you your present?”

“No,” she groaned.

“I brought steak.”

“... Fine. But no birthday songs, got it?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die. I certainly did not bring a boombox just to serenade you with ‘happy birthday’.”

“Don’t make me regret this, York.”

“Too late.” York closed the door behind him, carrying a wrapped box that was taller than him. “Haaaappy birthday! Or belated birthday. How you doin’, girl?”

“Horrible. You got food?”

He rolled his eyes and produced a plate from behind the box; her mouth absolutely watered at the sight of it, and she was digging in as soon as he set it down. “Jeez, you really didn’t eat today, huh?”

“Too busy,” she said around the food in her mouth. “New calves.”

“Right. I always get envious when I see those little calves, to be honest. Seeing him care for them. Always wanted kids of my own, but can’t really do that when North ‘n’ I have penises.”

Carolina gave him a look. “Are you… Are you asking me to surrogate for you?”

“What? No! I’m not asking that!” York’s face turned bright red. “Just… just open your gift.”

The cheetah set down her plate and warily took the present into her hands, opening it delicately. “It’s a… shark?”

“It’s a kick toy,” he clarified. “I noticed a lot of your stuff have claw marks in them. I figured you don’t really have any toys, so I got you this custom made. You can use it whenever you get stressed without ruining any of your things.”

Carolina felt her hard exterior soften. “York, this is… this is really sweet of you. Thank you.”

He grinned and rubbed the back of his neck. “You haven’t read the card yet. I had North sign it, too.”

“... Happy birthday, kitty cat, we wish you all the best and… we’d love to see you during your next heat... Oh my gods, you are asking me to be a surrogate!”

“Jeez, no! Quit jumping to conclusions! We’re asking you to be our girlfriend!”

* * *

[FOUR WEEKS AGO]

Carolina shoved Church out of the way and ran down the corridor as fast as possible, slamming into the bathroom door. She almost didn’t make it to the toilet in time, and didn’t even get a chance to lift the toilet seat before she expelled her guts. A group of humans and her brother gathered around the door, all sharing looks of concern and whispers. York shoved his way through the gaggle and knelt next to Carolina, rubbing her back as she vomited.

“What’s going on here?” came the Director’s voice. “Beta? Honey, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Oh no,” she moaned softly. “Don’t tell him.”

“Don’t tell me what? York, what does she mean?”

York glanced between the two, torn between the two people he feared lying to the most. “Uh…”

“Dad, stop it…” Carolina growled.

“You only call me dad when something’s wrong. What is it? If you don’t answer me, I’m taking you to see Dr. Grey.”

“He’s gonna find out anyways,” muttered York. “And we both know word is gonna spread.”

“Nooooo…”

Leonard turned towards the crowd and shooed them away, then shut and locked the door behind him. He knew Church was outside with his ear against the door, so he gave it a good thump to scare him off before turning back to the two. “Carolina Bethany Church, as your father, I demand you tell me what’s wrong.”

Carolina glanced at York, who nodded, and forced herself to her feet. For the first time, Leonard noticed how her lower stomach seemed to drag against the floor. “I’m… Dad, I’m pregnant.”

The doctor turned white as a sheet.

“With quadruplets.”

“OH MY GODS!” Church screamed from the other side of the door. “YOU SLUT!”

**Author's Note:**

> leonerdchurch.tumblr.com


End file.
